When it comes to romantic relationships, who is more important? Family or partner?
I have three fabulous sisters, all who are in relationships: one married with a child; one engaged to be married in May, 2009 and one with a serious boyfriend of 5 months.
The story with each of them is that their partners SEEM TO (lets be fair, here) have taken serious priority over their family. When it comes to time spent (obviously what's reasonable), willingness to do favours, tolerance, gestures... it seems that no matter how much the family cares or loves, they seem to just not be worth the effort.
Being the family man that I am, I cannot imagine forgetting all of the important and wonderful things that my parents and three gorgeous sisters have done for me, for the sake of maintaining a relationship... or does this shine some light on my love life? Does this mean that I have never really been in love? Is it some sort of 'coming of age' into love when you decide that you can hold double standards with family and partners?
Perhaps it is being single at this point in my life, that my eyes have the clarity to see how ridiculous some people can be when theirs are clouded by the smoky haze of *cough* love.
In the recent past, there was a confrontation between a friend of a friend and his sister's partner. He stepped totally out of line and I gave him a piece of my mind.
Although I was victimised in this particular scenario, I was made out to be the bad guy. ¿que?
Apparently if I hadn't REacted in the way that I did (Emphasising the 'RE-' because he started it), then there wouldn't have been an altercation, regardless of my being verbally abused. Silly me! I'll just sit there and take shit next time, with an ear-to-ear smile.
My sister gave me this whole: "How would you feel If I did that to someone that you loved?". Were my thoughts quick enough on the day, I'd have felt like saying: "Like my own flesh and blood?".
Anyway, that whole thing has long since blown over and we are all very much in love with each other again. I know that the whole situation was meant to have taught me something, but if the lesson is that love is an excuse to get away with holding double standards with your family, then it is going to be some time before I can come to terms with it.
Can you help me come to terms with it?
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I can't help you come to terms because I am on the same page as you. My siblings and I haven't reached the age where we have significant others but I've always had the ideology that family comes first. However, the one sister you have that is married, I think her husband should be just as much part of the family as your sister is... thats how it works in my fam, for the most part. Oh and merry xmas sam!
ReplyDeleteWell, being with my guy for three years, I can perhaps shed some light on this situation for you.
ReplyDeleteAt first, the idea of being with family was great... then over time it slowly became more of a chore... I'm STILL with family this holiday season, (the in-laws) and while we get along just great and I do love them, I'd be ready to go home any second now. You know, back to my LIFE!!!
The only solution I could give is that signiothers satisfy you on a different level than family does. This might not apply across the board, as I find my marriage to be somewhat unconventional, but what I feel most people think is something like this:
"Oh, my family will always be there..."
they're right of course. Families conquer all together. I would not say that's justification to behave like a total fool, but the truth stays the same.
I think that I side with you on this one. I never got the whole relationship switchero thing. I think it's almost like a scape to get out of somethings. Just a way to make things easier. Good thing I have no filter and say what pops up. Family can't stay made for too long.
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