The Evolution of a Dream

When I was about 10 years old, my parent bought be a present for Christmas.

It was a three dimensional jigsaw puzzle that, when complete, stood over one meter tall in the figure of New York City's Empire State building.

Partly a sense of personal satisfaction, and partly overwhelmed by this architectural marvel... I became fascinated with the thought of one day being able to, one day, stand atop this 102 story landmark.

As my fascination with this Art Deco sky scraper made me want to know all the more about the might city in which it stood. One of the most advanced metropolis' that this world has ever seen.

In my curious nature, from that day forth, I was infatuated with this city. The tall sky-scarapers, the classy people in their fancy cafes and funky bars, the sea of yellow cabs filling the streets, the noises from a city that was full of life, every hour of the day.

I told my family and all of my friends: "One of my life's biggest ambitions is to visit New York City."

As time went on, I kept finding reason why I could not travel overseas... be it money, time, important events with family and friends which kept me grounded in Australia... so... it started to look like it was never going to happen.

Last week, my best friend approached me with a proposal. "You + me + about 6 of our firends. New York City. December 2010 / January 2011."

There it was. That feeling that I used to get when I was a kid. Came over me like a rush of cold air. I got goose bumps. For so long things have been getting in the way of letting me go to NYC... and now... not only a chance to go... but a chance to go with a group of people I love so much. From a humble Christmas present, I worked towards Christmas in New York :)

This was it. This is why fate stopped me from going for so long. It wasn't my time, one, five or even ten years ago. Now is my time :)

Tickets are booked.

Brisbane --> Sydney --> San Francisco. Road tripping around the north coast of California. A week later...

San Francisco --> New York City for Christmas and New year

followed by road-trip exploration of the East Coast, and a probably trip to Montreal/Toronto.

Will anyone else be in N. America at this time of year?

Yay! :)

Approaching Oblivion

Year 23.

Full of everything that you would expect from a fruitful year.

Learning

Forgetting

Good Experinces

Bad Experiences

Old Love

New Love

Dead Love

Joy

Sadness

Laughs

Tears

I don't even know what I want to say, here.

Lets see what happens, tomorrow. 24.

Good night x

There, but for the grace of God...

You think you are invincible.

You think that everything that you do... your hard work, meticulous planning, your good will... will make everything turn out so that it works in your favour...

But when you stand there, at the foot of the bed, and peer over a man of your age who is reduced to a vegetative state... you can't help but cry.

Like it wasn't bad enough that life gave him a congenital, chronic and terminal disease which will see him live half as long as you or I... Life also had to throw in a terminal bleed in his brain, while he was doing something that he loved, which means he will probably never see his long-term girlfriend again, or finish his university degree....

Why the hell is it not me lying there, a symbiotic creature with those... machines, which are keeping me alive? Why am I being spared?

So where does this leave me? Do I not even try, knowing that at any second it could all go to waste?

I don't know, maybe I'll just keep going and hope for the best.

"There, but for the grace of God, go I"

The Child That Never Left Me

Item 5:

I love fantasy because there is too much that the real world doesn't let you do.

The Child That Never Left Me

Item 4:

I love to go grocery shopping with my mama, and make her push me down the aisles while I hang off the front of the shopping cart.

The Child That Never Left Me

Item 3:

I proudly wear temporary tattoos from candy wrappers and still feel so bad-ass.

The Child That Never Left Me

Item 2:

I love to walk into vintage book stores, because I secretly hope that I'll stumble across an old book that was lost in time, which holds the map to a treasure.

The Child That Never Left Me

Item 1 -

When I'm driving my car, I often turn down the music, then use my mouth and voice to make car sound effects of a motor revving, brakes screeching and crashing sounds.

Personal Reflection

I have never been a vain person. Really, I have not.

Sometimes, the the things that I say may come across as vain, but let me assure you that these things are probably fuelled by a complicated and deep-seeded sense of insecurity that I'd rather not delve into, in this blog post.

Nonetheless... I have, in often times been 'caught'. Caught in front of a mirror.

If I am in the presence of a mirror and I have the time, and the patience, you will often find me looking into it, looking at myself. I don't stare at myself and think "You're beautiful" or "You're ugly" or "Was that spot there, yesterday?!". No sir, I just look and see... me.

Why is this important to me? Well it's simple really. From where my eyes are positioned, I cannot see myself. Now think about it. 6 billion people in the world, and I am the only one who can't see me, not without the help of a mirror.

For a change, I want to see myself smile, see myself laugh, see myself cry... see fear and doubt in my own eyes, gaze into my own soul... see those bags under my eyes, see my nose, see my teeth see my ears, my chin, my cheeks. MY FACE.

Someone will often walk past and say "Aha! Caught you looking at yourself!"... as if I was doing something wrong. I don't think there's anything wrong, so long as it's not fuelled by a narcissism that disables you from seeing the beauty in every person in all of the world... nor is it healthy to see yourself for the purposes of self-criticism and self-loathing.

Do me... no... yourself, a big favour.

Find a mirror. Sit in front of it. Look at what I can see.

Aren't I lucky?

Doc

A Kiss from the Archives

Hello.

Giant, pre-historic Godzilla beetle; Teeny, tiny, little pumpkin.

Well, after a long, bloody battle, the Godzilla beetle walked away unscathed.

What shall I do with this?? Do I roast it? Make a tiny little soup? Carve out a mini Jack-o-Lantern?

Goodbye

Images of Summer.

"If the summer holds a song, we might sing forever." - Josh Pyke

The geese who tried to attack me... I told them I came in peace, and then we were friends.

The seagull who scored a free boat ride.

Disco is back?

Letting my feet cool down from the burning-hot sand.

I still love to build sand castles, even at 23 years of age. Growing up is for losers.

Beach... as far as the eye can see!

The lonely seashell. Thank you for coming home with me :)

Monkey business. Photographer: My 3 year old nephew.

Degraves in all of its alternative culture glory!

Which way did he go?

I can't be in New York City, so I brought Magnolia to me.

I'm on a boat :)

Polar Pain

There are two reasons why people get hurt.

1. Someone makes a choice without full consideration of the repercussion their decision will have on other people. (Fault of the hurter)

2. Someone makes a choice with full consideration of others, but due to ignorance or malice, these others don't agree with, or accept the choices. (Fault of the hurtee)

Next time you hurt someone, or you feel hurt: remember this.