Partner vs. Family - The Battle Royale?

When it comes to romantic relationships, who is more important? Family or partner?

I have three fabulous sisters, all who are in relationships: one married with a child; one engaged to be married in May, 2009 and one with a serious boyfriend of 5 months.

The story with each of them is that their partners SEEM TO (lets be fair, here) have taken serious priority over their family. When it comes to time spent (obviously what's reasonable), willingness to do favours, tolerance, gestures... it seems that no matter how much the family cares or loves, they seem to just not be worth the effort.

Being the family man that I am, I cannot imagine forgetting all of the important and wonderful things that my parents and three gorgeous sisters have done for me, for the sake of maintaining a relationship... or does this shine some light on my love life? Does this mean that I have never really been in love? Is it some sort of 'coming of age' into love when you decide that you can hold double standards with family and partners?

Perhaps it is being single at this point in my life, that my eyes have the clarity to see how ridiculous some people can be when theirs are clouded by the smoky haze of *cough* love.

In the recent past, there was a confrontation between a friend of a friend and his sister's partner. He stepped totally out of line and I gave him a piece of my mind.

Although I was victimised in this particular scenario, I was made out to be the bad guy. ¿que?

Apparently if I hadn't REacted in the way that I did (Emphasising the 'RE-' because he started it), then there wouldn't have been an altercation, regardless of my being verbally abused. Silly me! I'll just sit there and take shit next time, with an ear-to-ear smile.

My sister gave me this whole: "How would you feel If I did that to someone that you loved?". Were my thoughts quick enough on the day, I'd have felt like saying: "Like my own flesh and blood?".

Anyway, that whole thing has long since blown over and we are all very much in love with each other again. I know that the whole situation was meant to have taught me something, but if the lesson is that love is an excuse to get away with holding double standards with your family, then it is going to be some time before I can come to terms with it.

Can you help me come to terms with it?

To the North-West Quarternosphere.

There you go... I just made up a word. I was forced to do so because according to the Geospatial Information Systems Council at Penn State University, "There are no terms in the dictionary for a quarter of a sphere". I think that if other internet guru geek-faces can make up words like 'Blogosphere' then I can get away with 'Quarternospehere'. I'm glad that I got that off my chest.

Back to the purpose of this Blog post.

Like I stated in the previous post, the only readers I seem to have are from North America and Europe. It is now your Christmas Eve or Christmas Day so to you all I wish an awesome Christmas full of cheer and joy... and joyness! As you eat and drink yourselves stupid (like I did last night), be greatful for the love and company of your family, partners and friends.

Santa was very kind to me this year, and I hope he is the same to you all!

I'm setting this ship to top-speed and getting my ass out of this Blogosphere to make some phone calls and organise a night out.

Take care everyone!

The Doc.

Pre-Christmas Merry Christmas

I have found that the only readers of my blog so far are from North America and Europe. I'm surprised that I have ANY audience after so little time being involved in this whole Bloggy thing so allow me to give MANY thanks to all of my readers. You shall get to learn much more about me in the New Year, after the craziness of Christmas etc. dies down.

Well, as I type, it is Christmas Eve in Australia. Not long before the festivities are in full-swing. If any Australian readers should stumble across my Blog in the mean time, then I wish you a very Merry Christmas. Whether you celebrate it as a religious holiday or just partake in the excitement of the season, I give my love all the same.

For all you North American and European folk, just because I think you're awesome, I shall go to the effort of addressing you separately tomorrow night for your timezones' Christmases.

Stay tuned!

Quantum Emotions

Last night I was thinking about all of the times where I have said "that was a shit week" or "I had a bad day". I, and others I know, say it all too often and I see the emotions this creates, eat away at our souls.

When I take the time to think about it, I realise how irrational it is to say that a WHOLE day or week or year is bad, when it is more likely than not that at least some things happy or funny or exciting did happen in that time.

As of today, I'm going to try something new with the way I think about events in my life. Rather than considering my life to unfold in days, weeks or years, I'm going to consider events to occur in discrete new quanta. Perhaps you've heard of these? I call them: MOMENTS!

I can't credit the WHOLE idea to my own genius. While deep in thought last night, I found that I kept reciting a movie quote in my mind. Something along the lines of: "It's about moments! That's all that matters!" - Cloverfield

So why am I doing this? Well, its because I consider whole days, weeks and months wasted when they turn out crappy. Given that my time is so precious, this concept of wasting time tends to get me down. I think that if I can break a day up into moments, throw away the ones that suck and hold onto those which matter the most, I can trick myself into thinking that every precious day is a beautiful one, which will be good for my soul :)

I urge you to help me in my little experiment. Take the challenge and make your life about moments. Please leave your feedback on whether or not this has helped the way you think about your life and how.

Goodbye, for now!

Like it was written just for me...

I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life.
Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do?
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We're fated to pretend
To pretend

I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.

There's really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we'll get a divorce
We'll find some more models, everything must run it's course.

We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend

- MGMT -

How to turn a 22 year old man into a whimp:

Anyone who knows me well enough KNOWS my one and only real weakness. My 'Achilles heel', if you will. It is not an uncommon one by any stretch, but it is enough to make my insides stew with unrest and make me shriek like a scared little girl.

Ladies and gentlemen, the one thing on this planet which would be sure to freak me out on any occasion is any eight-legged freak from the order of Araneae, the SPIDER.


These minions of Satan have haunted my imagination from my earliest days till now. Even today, I require the courage of my mum or dad(or housemates) to 'do away' with these things or I threaten to run away to someone else's house to sleep while they lurk about in my domicile. I will not go anywhere near even the smallest spider, for the obviously irrational fear that it will eat me alive. I promise you that if you force me close enough to them, you will see tears and LOTS of yelling and resistance.

What does it take to make a mouse out of your man? What do you fear enough to give you the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it?

High School Drastical

Tonight I had a chat with a close friend who I have held dear since High School. We don't see one another very often because I live in another state, but when we do spend time with one another, I am guaranteed to partake in some serious Deep and Meaningful conversation.

Tonight we discussed our high school experience and it brought back memories of one of the most difficult times of my life. High school was a terrible place for me, to the point where some of the memories haunt me till this day.

I was the guy who was picked on for being a know-it-all, a nerd, for his physical appearance and for his social inadequacy. I was the guy who always fell victim to the Queen Bees of the school. In the time since high-school, I have been able to identify and forgive those who did what they needed to survive that harsh battle field, but there are some that I think may NEVER redeem themselves. I took much comfort in finding out that the latter subset of bullies have little to show for their oppression.

Bullying in schools is a significant factor in the development of anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation in adolescence. It is a fucking serious issue, and if it weren't for my fabulous family and for my re-birth, I might have been pushing up daisies by now. It's NO joke!

Since my re-birth, all has changed. I have become some social genius with the greatest friends you could imagine. I also began to take care of my appearance and scrubbed up pretty damn well, and I have learned that there is no need to show off my intelligence, but instead use it to help others. Finally, and hopefully without sounding like I'm tooting my own horn too much, I am a NICE GUY! I knew what it was like when people were mean, and so I have made the conscious choice and put in the effort to be a damn nice guy who treats everyone with the respect that all people deserve.

Would I have turned out this way if I had never seen how terrible mean people were? Who knows... Maybe my nightmare that was high school was a blessing after all!

What was YOUR high-school experience like? Were you the Queen Bee or the Teenage Dirt-bag? Most importantly, if high-school was a part of your life some time ago, how did YOU turn out?

Thanks again for tuning in.

Super Sweet Funeral

Not that my untimely death is an expected outcome of my (thus far) short life, but tonight I was wondering: "When I die... how can I go off with a 'bang!'?"... and... "How will my closest family and friends know what I want when I go?"

I then thought that it would be important to start putting together a list of music that would be played at my funeral.

I want a song that will capture who I was... who I am... and what I want the world to take from me when I pass.

What better idea than to see if anyone out there is willing to give me a hand in deciding. I know you don't know me too well yet... but think outside the box. I'm a pretty alternative and ecclectic sort of guy and my taste in funeral music tends to reflect this. Here are some examples of what I mean:

Option 1: 'Time to Pretend' by MGMT

Option 2: 'Heartbeats' by The Knife

Option 3: 'Chicago' by Sufjan Stevens

Option 4: 'Crazy' by Alanis Morisette

Option 5: 'Dedication and Windsong' by James Horner

Option 6: 'Glosoli' by Sigur Ros

Option 7: 'Hands of Time' by Groove Armada

Option 8: 'Make Your Own Kind of Music' by Mamma Cass Elliot

Option 9: 'Someone Great' by LCD Sound System

Hopefully this will get the ball rolling :)

Thanks for tuning in for those who have.